Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The ugly: Man who gave birth after being born a woman recounts baby joy‎


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A man thought to be Britain's first 'male mother' has told of his wish to live his life as a normal father.
The man, who was born a woman, gave birth to a healthy baby girl he calls his 'little angel' in March 2011 after ending the hormone treatment that had deactivated his womb.
He had been living as a man for five years and had legally changed his name and gender before deciding to attempt to conceive with his male partner, from whom he is now separated.
Thomas Beatie, 34, from Bend in Oregon, pictured in July 2008 with his daughter Susan
Thomas Beatie, 34, from Bend in Oregon, pictured in July 2008 with his daughter Susan
It is thought to be only the fourth case of its kind in the world, and comes four years after American transsexual Thomas Beatie, 38, sparked controversy by announcing his pregnancy.
The Mail on Sunday knows the identity of the man but at his request is not going to reveal the details and will refer to him as 'Bob', which is not his real name.
Pictures of the little girl, seen by this newspaper, reveal a happy and beautiful baby with sparkling eyes and a beaming smile. A reporter spoke to Bob yesterday at his comfortable mid-terrace home in a residential area of a town in the North of England where he opened the door with his daughter cradled in his arms.
With short dark hair and a faint moustache, and wearing jeans, a blue polo shirt and sports trainers, Bob confirmed he had given birth to the little girl last year.
He said: 'It's not something I want to become famous for. I don't want everyone to know that I'm transgender.'
Asked if he would speak to The Mail on Sunday about his experiences, he said: 'I would certainly want to help people in an anonymous capacity but I wouldn't want to become famous for that, I wouldn't want to be known like Thomas Beatie. And I have to think of my daughter and I don't think it would be good for her.'

PREGNANT MEN:THOMAS BEATIEAND  A SWELLING FASHION

Expecting: American man Thomas Beatie when he was 22 months pregnant
The most high profile 'male mother' in the world is American man Thomas Beatie (pictured above).
Beatie made headlines around the world in 2008 when he was revealed as the first legally transgender male to conceive.
Months after giving birth to a daughter, Susan Juliette, he announced he was pregnant again and had a boy, Austin, in June 2009, before giving birth to a third child, Jenson. 
Beattie, now in his late 30s, raises the children his wife Nancy.
He was born a woman - Tracy Lagondino -  in Hawaii in 1974. When he was in his twenties began having testosterone injections, giving him facial hair, a lower voice and altering his sexual organs.
In 2002 he had a mastectomy and legally became a man - but he chose to keep his vagina, uterus and other female sexual organs so the couple could have children, as his wife had had a hysterectomy.
His relatively rare situation is not unique though and a Spanish transsexual, Ruben Noe Coronado Jimenez (pictured below), was reportedly pregnant with twins in June 2009 before having a miscarriage.
In Israel, Yuval Topper, 24, also a transsexual man, gave birth in November 2011.
Ruben Noe Coronado when he was pregnant with twins
The university graduate, 27, was in a gay relationship with another man. They parted recently and he is raising his child as a single parent.
He requested anonymity because his history as a woman is not known to many of his friends, and he is reluctant to be labelled a transsexual parent because he identifies with being male.
His little girl, now 11 months old, is his biological daughter and was conceived using his own eggs. She is said to call him 'Dada' and Bob told The Mail on Sunday that he refers to his former partner as her 'other Daddy'.
The details of his case emerged in a fascinating and poignant blog written by Bob which charts the early days of his pregnancy and later announces the birth. In his first post, dated July 16, 2010, he writes of his excitement after taking a pregnancy test. Bob wrote: 'I put it to one side while I checked my messages and then glanced over to see what it said, prepared to be  disappointed. Not today.
'It said pregnant. As clear as anything, it said pregnant. I read it and re-read it, gave a cry of delight and rushed into the bedroom to tell my partner. I'm so thrilled, so excited, so apprehensive.
'I'm not the first man to have a baby and I won't be the last, but we're not fully accepted and understood yet, there's still a long way to go.
'But if there's one thing I've learned on my journey from being a girl to being a man, it's patience.'
A picture of his positive pregnancy test is also proudly displayed online.
It is not clear how much surgery – if any – Bob had during the treatment  to change his gender. But he refers to having taken male hormones in order to make the transition, which set in motion irreversible changes, including deepening the voice and increasing the amount and distribution of body hair.
The pregnancy forced him to cancel an appointment with a doctor for chest surgery, and in his blog he worries how he will cope when his breasts enlarge and begin producing milk. He also worries about the risk of miscarriage.
But he describes seeing his pregnancy from a uniquely male perspective. Bob writes: 'Just try and get through one day at a time and enjoy every minute of my pregnancy. I'm sure women enjoy this as much as I do, maybe even more, I don't know.  I see this as not only a wonderful experience but a really good experiment in a way, seeing from the inside what pregnancy is like. Actually finding out all about it by living it.
'It's been four days since I got my positive. Feels like weeks. Oh, and my sense of smell is getting stronger. I can smell all sorts of things now, it's quite impressive.'
Later, he writes that he hid the pregnancy successfully by wearing 'suitable clothing' to disguise his bump.
Writing in a forum for transsexual parents, linked to the blog, he explains that his parents took the news of his pregnancy 'well'. He said: 'They seem to be OK but I'm worried they may try and "convert" me back to the way I was because of the perceived "mental health" of the baby when it's born. My mum's already told me that I'd be a good mummy and I said no, I'll be a good daddy. She's got used to that. I'd hate to fall out with them over their own grandchild.'
However, it is clear that he also faced considerable opposition within his own family from an unnamed aunt. In a post dated July 20, 2010, he writes: 'I've never heard anyone inject so much misery and disappointment into the word Hello.
'She wanted to know if I was going to stop being silly and become a woman again, she wanted to know if I was going to get rid of the silly new name I'd adopted. She wondered how on earth I'd cope when I was going against society in this manner, men don't have babies!
'I think it's a combination of her WASP upbringing coupled with her conservatism and her Christianity that's making her reject the whole notion. You know what I really wanted to say to her but decided against it ... I really, really wanted to say, "If you think that men don't give birth then answer me this, where did Eve come from?"'
Bob's daughter was born on March 15, 2011, and is 'a little angel', according to his final post in May last year. He adds: 'I went through the pregnancy pretty damn well if I do say so myself.' 
It is not clear whether his partner supplied the sperm, or how the child was conceived. His online account has now been de-activated.
Heartache: Spanish male mother Ruben Noe Coronado, pictured left with girlfriend Esperanza Ruiz, miscarried twins but vowed to try for another baby
Heartache: Spanish male mother Ruben Noe Coronado, pictured left with girlfriend Esperanza Ruiz, miscarried twins but vowed to try for another baby
He used to socialise regularly in gay bars in his home town but had not been seen so frequently since his daughter's birth, according to a local barman.
News of the birth emerged only last weekend when a charity supporting transvestite and transgender people, the Beaumont Society, revealed a man had phoned a confidential hotline requesting information on the practicalities of having a baby following sex change surgery.
Joanna Darrell, a regional co-ordinator for the charity, said the man had called again 'around six months ago' to say a baby had been born but that the organisation had no further information. There was mystery over the identity of the man and doubt over whether the birth had even happened. Official bodies such as the Department of Health and the fertility regulator, the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, had no knowledge of the case.
Other transgender charities  also cast doubt on the Beaumont Society's claims because of the lack of any information within the transsexual community about the birth, and some even claimed the charity was seeking publicity.

According to the law, the mother is the woman – rather than person – who carried the child during pregnancy

The criticism, which saw the charity accused of selling the story and leaking confidential information, has led Joanna Darrell, a transvestite who lives with her wife and grown-up sons in Bristol, to resign.
It is not clear whether the man identified by The Mail on Sunday is, in fact, the same individual who allegedly contacted the Beaumont Society. 
When asked whether he had been in touch with the charity, Bob said: 'I can't remember doing it. Unless the doctor did it on my behalf or something.'
But the timeline of contact with the organisation, and the subsequent birth, does closely correspond with the man's case. There are also no known other cases of a transsexual man giving birth in this country.
The implications of a man giving birth after legally changing his  gender is complicated in terms of producing a birth certificate for the child and experts disagree on the correct way to proceed. It is not known what decision was made in Bob's case.
According to the law, the mother is the woman – rather than person – who carried the child during pregnancy. 
One family lawyer said it was likely a registrar would consider Bob to be the child's mother despite officially being recognised as male. 
The registrar could use a birth certificate which referred to 'parents' rather than the traditional 'mother' and 'father' category, such as those used in gay and lesbian cases.
But an academic expert in transgender affairs concluded that after legally changing sex, Bob would be listed as the child's father because of 'a legal view about the best interests of children and the preservation of an existing gendered parental relationship'.
According to The NHS Information Centre, in 1999 there were 49 people who had the operation on the NHS in England. In 2009 that had increased to 137
According to The NHS Information Centre, in 1999 there were 49 people who had the operation on the NHS in England. In 2009 that had increased to 137
Bob describes his background briefly on the blog, and his decision to have children despite having had a sex change. His account could be that of any couple looking to start a family – minus the reference to male hormones.
He writes: 'In the words of Julie Andrews, let's start at the very beginning. Well, in the beginning I was brought into this world a girl and it wasn't until I was much older I realised that I was far happier as a boy.

Figures show the number of people having sex change operations on the NHS every year has trebled in ten years - to 1,000 people - at a cost to the taxpayer of £10million

'So I went through a long process of changing my clothes, then my name, then my hormones and then my legal gender.
'After that long hard road my partner and I had a big discussion about life, children and so forth. So, we stopped smoking, I stopped taking my hormones and started taking folic acid instead and four months later I was taking a Clear Blue pregnancy test first thing in the morning.'
Latest figures show the number having sex change operations on the NHS every year has trebled in the ten years between 1999 and 2009. More than 1,000 people have had surgery, at a cost to the taxpayer of £10million. Men wishing to become women make up 80 per cent of the cases. In addition to surgery to correct their genitals and adapt their chest, transsexuals can also get psychotherapy and hormone replacement therapy on the NHS.
However, charity the Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES) estimated last year that 12,500 people in the UK may have now presented for some kind of treatment – not necessarily on the NHS.
Many people seek hormone treatment over the internet, and others travel abroad for surgery to destinations such as Thailand.
GIRES says the numbers seeking a gender change may be increasing by as much as 11 per cent a year.
Sex changes on the NHS became a right in July 1999 after the Appeal Court recognised that those who believed they were born into the wrong body had a legitimate illness. It was opposed by critics who said they had a psychological condition.
In 1999, the year sex changes became free, 49 people had the operation on the NHS in England. In 2009 that had increased to 137, according to The NHS Information Centre.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2103157/Britains-male-mum-speaks-My-mother-told-Id-good-mummy-I-said-No-Ill-good-daddy.html#ixzz1n3HyTvsf

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